‘Judith’ at the Citizens Theatre

Listen up, culture vultures. The Citizens Theatre proudly presents the blockbuster you’ve all been waiting for. It’s a stoater of a play where the American President makes an exit as dramatic as a Thanksgiving turkey on a flaming skateboard! Oor Big Dennis reckons it’s that powerful, it’ll give you goosebumps the size of haggis balls! All for the bargain price of £2 a seat. That’s cheaper than a deep-fried Mars bar from the chippy.